Posted by: dean | November 27, 2007

I was almost right crossed by a Hummer

I was almost right crossed by a Hummer, it was’nt the ‘small’ ‘cute’ Hummer ladies seem to be fond of either and not the Millitary one which I might have some respect for, it was the big black one.  I was riding at night around 7:30 downhill 35mph speed limit for traffic I was cruising around 25mph.   Chilly out but i’m sweating.   The Hummer was coming through the parking lot pretty fast I thought hes about 100 yards from the his stop sign and I hate hummers oh yes I love to hate Hummer actually, even if this guy stops at his stop sign I will still glare as hard as I can at him, my other move is a big thumbs down and the brutal pointer/thumb ‘you got a small one dontcha?’ move, but he is’nt gonna stop, I actually had time to decide that he was gonna right cross me, our trajectories seemed to match up way too well, way to freakin close.  I turned my headlight on bright which is about as bright as a $130 light gets and moved left into the road, no traffic behind me so I’m 2 feet left of the white line.  Oh yeah, I also love to shout at hummers, even though its kinda dumb its,   YO ARNOLD!  — Was’nt Schwartzeneger a Hummer enthusiast? Oh yes, and seeing me holding my nose as their nasty emissions engulf will make them rethink their otherwise totally Awesome vehicle purchase.   Or course he blows the freakin stop sign hard, hes goes to make his left, I skid my back wheel and let up on it just a bit and come to as hard a stop as my 46 year old bike can manage, HA!!! pretty good.  I thought he was just gonna blow by right in front of me bound to not even know I ever existed but he sees me, not that it mattered, and slams on the brakes one half second after I already was stopped dead.  The ass end of his truck finally heaved back towards the ground.  He was stopped and I rolled up in front of him slow and just laughed, then I pointed and laughed hard, I was’nt faking it, strangely I did’nt see the driver, he was there but I was laughing at defeating the evil hummer I could’nt see the driver, I did’nt care who he was.  I did’nt want to yell at him talk to him or even see him.  That man did’nt exist inside of the machine. Grill to grill.  Sometimes there is keen super biking sense that comes alive when you are super aware flowing up and down streets if a spot feels off somehow, you know it.  Some rides I trust no drivers assuming no one sees me, sometimes theres more abandon and people wave at me and all the potholes are filled all the different road users smile and love each other.  Some rides everyone is talking on their cell phones, I love the BMW driver who refuses to relent to his reckless spending habits by purchasing a spendy hands free device.  I dont know what this story means to me anymore, I always hated seemingly senseless big trucks and I think I always bike pretty much as safely as I know how to.  I like trusting the Super Biking Sense and I’m kinda happy that if you read this you might have a new way to ‘wave’ at hummers.



  1. you: 1
    hummers: 0

    woooohoooo! ;o)

  2. Wow! I noticed your bike the other day – 46? It’s cool! I hate hummers. Too bad bikes are too small for bumper stickers!

  3. I love this post, and I also love it that people who know me think I yelled at a hummer, because now I’m totally going to. Or at least give them a dirty look. Anyhow, this was a post by Dean, and not me, tho I was tempted to take credit for it, since I got such positive feedback. 🙂


  4. I thought your voice sounded slightly different

  5. Now this is just too funny:

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